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How I deliver candid feedback in ‘a couple seconds’ without hurting feelings
When in a heated basketball game or rushing against the clock to meet a deadline at work, sometimes delivering constructive criticism needs to be quick.
Taking the time to present feedback in an appeasing way like using the “sandwich approach” to share criticism in between two compliments is simply not feasible when you’re in a crunch, says Sonia Raman, head coach of the WNBA’s Seattle Storm.
In a basketball game, “you might have a couple seconds when the ball goes out of bounds to talk to a player before we inbound and go to the next play,” Raman says. “There’s not going to be a lot of time. You have to be really direct, and you have to go for it.”
However, delivering candid criticism in a heated moment can be risky. To avoid hurt feelings, Raman says she relies on the relationships and trust she builds with players throughout the year.
Sonia Raman, former assistant coach with the Memphis Grizzlies, reviews film with player Gregory Jackson on Feb. 4, 2024 in Boston, Massachusetts.
Paul Rutherford | Getty Images Sport | Getty Images
Whether through one-on-one meetings, side conversations during practice, or taking players out to lunch or dinner, Raman says she builds trust in various ways. Each relationship is unique, but the most important part is having genuine interactions.
“As I make those connections and [my players] start to understand that I care, and that I care not just about the wins and the losses, but about them as people, then the rest of the conversations flow,” Raman says.
How to build genuine trust in the workplace
Shifting how you approach small talk can be a simple yet powerful way to build trust and genuine rapport in the workplace, leadership and workplace researcher Zach Mercurio said in May.
Instead of defaulting to conversations about the weather, take the opportunity to ask questions that show a sincere interest in the other person like “I know things are a little hectic this week. How are you holding up?” Or, “I heard your son graduated this week. Congratulations! How did you celebrate?” Mercurio said.
When talking about work, building trust comes down to being honest, authentic and candid, even if you’ve made mistakes, Amazon CEO Andy Jassy said last year. No one is going to trust you if you’re an agreeable employee or only focus on the positives as a boss, he said.
“If you want to earn trust: If you say you’ve got something, deliver it. If you own something and it’s not going well, be self-critical, and fix it,” Jassy said.
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