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Tom Brady calls out a problem with modern parenting: ‘Every time they mess up, we send them to an easier place to succeed’
Tom Brady—who was a sixth-round NFL pick, at number 199—is a strong proponent of failing in order to succeed. He’s perhaps the best-known football player past or present, and is the winningest player in the league’s history, holding a record seven Super Bowl titles.
At Fortune’s Global Forum in New York last November, Brady—a father of three—extolled the virtues of letting your kids fail, even if that’s no longer the norm.
“Think of today’s world, how we screw these kids up,” Brady told Fortune editor-in-chief Alyson Shontell. “Every time they mess up, we send them to an easier place to succeed.”
That’s not how Brady experienced it. As a high schooler, he had to “grind each year” to finally get a chance to play as a starting quarterback as a senior. Today, he said, a kid in the same position might have simply transferred to a school that would hand them a place on the starting lineup, with far less competition. Brady thinks that’s a huge mistake—and that’s a lesson he’s imparting on his own kids.
“We’ve all faced different challenges in life; we’ve all faced our own adversities,” he said. “Look at the hardest things that have ever happened. We look back at those and realize they’re the best things that could’ve happened.”
Brady reflects on his 23 seasons in the NFL, he said, and thinks, “there’s no way I would’ve had that success had I not gone through all the challenges of high school and college sports.”
The value of being uncomfortable
Few young athletes these days are forced beyond their comfort zones, he said. “They’re told they’re great; people coddle them; they never have to push beyond their limits. Even some of the best athletes in the world never have to go outside their comfort zone.”
Brady doesn’t buy that. When he was team captain, he said, part of his job as a leader was to “make some guys uncomfortable.”
“I was always focused on ensuring they were working harder than they ever thought they’d have to work,” Brady added. “They had to show up every day with a good attitude, humble when things go well, curious to learn more when they don’t go well.”
As a parent, Brady is trying to emulate his own parents, who were supportive and dependable but never gave him the easy way out.
“The blessing my parents gave: When I was that long-shot as a kid who was a backup quarterback, they never said, man, don’t do that, it’ll be too hard, think about another backup plan,” Brady said. “They said, go for it—that’s probably my parenting style.”
A version of this story appeared on Fortune.com on Nov. 14, 2024.
